Dandified.

Showing excessive concern about ones clothes or appearance (typically used of a man).

People join the gym for all kinds of reasons. Some want to lose weight, others want to bulk up. Me? I was just looking for a place that’s culturally acceptable to high-five a stranger.

But pretty soon after I signed up, I realized that the benefits far exceeded my expectations. The assault bike, for instance, is a stationary bike that simultaneously offers a killer workout as well as a steady breeze up your shorts. (Santa Anna’s for your sack.) And the barbell, oh that iron rod with disk-shaped weights on each end, I’m surprised they haven’t been outlawed in California yet, they just seem like something Republicans would use.

And then, there’s gym clothes. 

This was a learning curve for me as I showed up to my first workout wearing nothing but boardshorts. As I stood in line, barefoot, our coach explained the workout of the day and my mind became consumed with a flurry of dandified thoughts: 

I should have worn shoes! I should have worn a shirt! I should have come fully decked out in my hunting camouflage! Anything but this! Oh, how I yearn to be dignified, but I’m nothing but dandified!

Half-naked I slunk my way through the workout, expecting that someone would whisper, “Psst, the beach is that way.” Instead, as I finished the workout, the coach walked up to me, pointed at my bare feet, then gave me a high-five. Gyms.

I challenge you to use ‘dandified’ in a conversation this week, or write your own sentence in the comments below.

Kyle

This is a Friday newsletter where I share a cool word, then use it in a story.