Slovenly.

(especially of a person or their appearance) messy and dirty.

Yesterday, a longtime friend texted me this word. I thanked him, then spent the whole night wondering if it was some kind of passive-aggressive intervention. 

Slovenly? Me? Never!

Sure, I let my finger nails grow out until they’re sharp as knives, trimming them only when TSA demands it. Fine, I wear the same pair of socks until my girlfriend asks if a rat died in the wall. And yes, I still believe that shampoo is a luxury item reserved for the super-rich. These are normal hygienic habits people!

You say slovenly, I say efficiency. I clean myself using more modern methods. Washer and dryer? Ha! More like horse and carriage. When my clothes get dirty, I just drown my hamper in Tide detergent, ring em’ out, and let the blue goo drip off.

Sure, my armoire smells like a chemical plant, but clean is clean and time is saved.

The average person spends three years of their life sweeping the floor. I’m not sure if that stat is true, but it serves my argument so let’s use it. In three years, I could learn Japanese, then draw the characters on my dust-covered floor. Slovenly? More like zusan ni, which is Japanese for slovenly. 

If you have recs of next week’s word, comment below. 

See ya soon Wordos.

Kyle

This is a Friday newsletter. Each week I pick a new word I’m trying to learn, then use it in a short story.