Yarning.

Tell a long or implausible story

Much like Spanish, break dancing, or changing a car tire, spinning a damn good yarn is a skill everyone should learn, but tragically, few do.

At Thanksgiving with your family, for instance, yarning on about your knife fight in the favelas of Rio De Janeiro might be the only thing steering the conversation away from childhood trauma. Family gatherings don’t unravel because of a ticking clock, they unravel because we run out of yarn. 

Yarning is a defense against reality, a subject that should never be broached. Money, relationships, your rudderless career … are these things you really want to talk about while slathering cranberries over a dead bird? The best defense is a good offense, and the best offense is an implausible story about an Arabian horse you recently purchased. His name is Koussa which means zucchini, and his breed is pure. 

I’m not telling you to lie, just embellish a little. I just spent the last 10 minutes Googling funny Arabic names, which is the first step to becoming a horse trainer. So, from where I sit, I’m a horse trainer. Next month, Koussa and I will be making our debut at the Kentucky Derby and I’ve already secured funding to develop a series of NFTs based on my horse. Pro tip: Yarning often involves terms like “secured funding” and “NFTs.”

So get on with your day, share this newsletter with the wealthiest person you know, and as every great writer knows, never let the truth get in the way of a good yarn.

Kyle

This is a Friday newsletter to help you grow your vocabulary.